The Intimacy of Jesus Christ in the NICU

By Matt Aujero

March 4, 2025

On Sunday, February 23, 2025, my wife Mimi gave birth to our eighth child, Edith Michelle Aujero, at White Oak Adventist Hospital in Silver Spring, Maryland. Baby Edi arrived six weeks early via emergency C-section weighing 5 lbs, 14 oz. She and mom are doing relatively well for their stages. Praise God.

For further context, at the 20th week of this pregnancy it was discovered that Mimi had placenta previa, i.e. the placenta was in the way of the baby’s exit. Mimi had bleeding about a month ago and ended up having to stay two days in the hospital. She was told that if it happened again, she would need to call 911 right away...

The following was written Thursday, February 27, 2025, in our hospital room, the morning of our discharge.

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“Everything in front of us is a gift from God”

-Servant of God Fr. Walter Ciszek

Most everything has been great and above average, but I can’t leave this hospital without acknowledging when I wasn’t OK. As I reflect now days later after the ambulance Sunday morning to the emergency C-Section, to seeing my baby in the NICU all hooked up, I can’t help now but feel the great gift of Jesus Christ in these moments. I am no saint but what a gift this experience has brought me closer to Him. I love Him so much and I choose to praise Him to eternity.

12:30 am Sunday Morning

Mimi waking up to tell me she is bleeding again. Call 911. Call Mrs. Keane to come watch the kids. Ambulance arrives. In the 10 minutes before Mrs. Keane arrives, deciding I have time to clean up the blood on the floor.

Getting white t-shirt rags from the closet, getting on my knees and wiping the blood from the hallway. Praying to God the kids don’t wake up to see this frightening scene. Wiping the blood from the bedroom floor. And finally the bathroom floor, toilet, and side of the toilet. Alone in my silence wiping blood.

It brought me to that painful scene in The Passion where Our Mother returns to the scene of her son’s scourging and cleans the blood off the floor. While it was no where near dramatic as that, the experience brought me an inch closer to what it might have been like to wipe our Lord’s blood off the ground. I was more in solidarity than ever with Our Mother in that moment and what a gift (looking back) that was to get closer intimately to Our Lord.

A small silent solidarity with Our Lord’s Mother

3:45 am the C-section

Everything seemed to be regular and protocol once it was decided that Mimi would have a C-section. Given her anxiety, Mimi asked not to be told what was going on. But then when we were behind the blue sheet, we started hearing words like “placenta” and she also heard words like “feet”. Wait, what is going on? Seeing and hearing seven of our babies delivered, we know and expect to hear the miraculous sound of newborn crying. But nothing. Nothing! Why can’t we hear her cry? Tears flow again as I write this. I’ve never prayed so hard in my life in that minute of realization. “Hail Mary…Hail Mary…” The complete surrender of being brought to my knees (metaphorically), of wanting nothing else in the world than for my baby to be OK. Thoughts of a friend’s experience of the still birth of his son came to mind. How I finally got a small glimpse of what that must have felt like.

Finally a faint cry. And then another. A great relief between the two of us. They requested to bring me back to see baby. I realize we couldn’t hear her because a nurse manually had an oxygen mask on Edith. And the faint crying we heard off and on was when she had the mask off of her. I saw her chest concave in and out as she breathed heavily. But her little nose and mouth and everything about her was perfect.

Reflecting back, it was a true gift to be brought to my knees like that. I think I carry a lot of pride, sometimes trying to appear like I have it all together—young dad, eight kids in ten years, founding and leading full-time in a ministry that is growing, how does he do it? This was a true gift, that reminder that nothing of merit is me, and that everything, EVERYTHING, is God. It was good for me to have that opportunity to pray really hard, surrendering to the fact that everything depends on Him, holding back nothing. Sometimes I can pray and I hold back my expectations with the fear of not being let down. It was my first prayer in a while where I let nothing back in my surrender and my desire for Him to come all the way through. Our Lord is a good, good Father. Thank you, Lord.

8:15 am The NICU

Seeing my tiny, just under six-pound baby hooked up with all the things. The CPAP to her nose for oxygen. The orange feeding tube down her throat. Her wrapped IV on her hand. Attachments on her hands and feet. Wires on her chest to listen to heartbeat. Another wire to watch her temperature. Thank God for modern technology.

It brought me back to a bus ride in Mexico on the way to visit the poorest of the poor. Our leader Craig said something that has forever changed me: “The poor are a GIFT to society.” I remember that day visiting a five-year-old child who is indefinitely in bed. He just lies there in that orphanage and waits for people to feed him and love him. He just lies there.

And here I am with Edi. I’ve never seen a being that is more fragile. A young tiny premature baby. But one that is all hooked up on oxygen and feeding tubes and completely reliant on others for life. Through her witness already, Edi is teaching me belovedness. There is nothing she can do to earn love of the Father and so it is true for me. When I look at her I see a little Jesus. Five pounds and hooked up. Reliant not on Himself. What a gift to be brought closer to Him.

It’s breathtaking. It’s beautiful. And it’s this amazing reminder of the fragility of life. We don’t got this. The week before, I just went to the funeral of 97-year-old Jimmy Harkleroad. What else matters in this life than to love and serve God and to love and serve those around us? To tell and show everyone by our words and witness that Jesus is the only thing and person that matters? What questions will we ask at the end of our life whether that’s decades or days from now? What else matters but Jesus Christ and loving others? We should all be hard pressed if we have ANY other answers than that. Thank you, Lord.

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Mimi and I are extremely grateful for all the wonderful medical professionals here. Our family. Friends. Mission partners. Everyone praying and supporting us. But before I leave this hospital today, I thank God for these experiences that He has allowed that has brought me even more so intimately closer to Him.

Song on repeat throughout these days and as I write this, a family favorite:

“Something Better” by Blanca

All Glory to God. I praise you in the good. I praise you in the bad. Glory be…

Amen.

Day 0

A couple hours outside the womb, Edi is pale and anemic due to her blood loss

Day 1

Daylight

For meal train info, baby registry or other ways to support,

contact Matt at fight@fightclubcatholic.com.