I recently got a new spiritual director. And after sharing with him about my prayer life and some of the challenges I have experienced in prayer, he invited me to read “Prayer for Beginners” by Peter Kreeft. 

After spending two years as a FOCUS missionary praying a holy hour and attending daily mass almost everyday, and continuing to do so now, I’ll admit, there was a prideful part of me that thought “Father, I’m not a beginner! What’s that book going to teach me that I don’t already know?”

Well, as it turns out, a lot. 

I am almost finished with this book, and my main takeaway from it is that we too often overcomplicate prayer (myself included). We think our prayer has to be elegantly crafted. We think we have to say just the right words in the right formula or we won’t be heard. We think it’s just about squeezing in as many devotionals and novenas as possible. When we experience distraction in prayer, we beat ourselves up, as if the Saints never experienced the same thing. 

But fundamentally, prayer is not about just showing up and reciting some words. Prayer is the practice of the presence of God. We are there to be present with God and share our hearts with Him. 

I was once praying in an airport chapel, attempting to squeeze in a holy hour before my flight boarded. About 15 minutes in, a lady comes in, gets on her knees, and just starts sobbing and speaking to God. This continued on for 30 more minutes. Initially I was annoyed because her acting all hysterical was distracting me from my prayer. But then I thought to myself “what can I learn from this?”. 

Though I couldn’t understand everything she was saying because she was speaking Spanish, it didn’t matter because I could tell that this was authentic prayer, much more so than mine was on that particular day. It was messy, it was full of tears, and I could tell she was giving God her whole heart. 

I’m not saying we have to burst into tears every time we pray, I’m simply saying that prayer should be authentic. We don’t have to use fancy words or wrap our prayer in a nice bow for God to accept it. God infinitely prefers a heart without words to words without a heart when we pray.

Kreeft expands on this idea and makes a great point in his book. He describes how a lover may recite a poem by Shakespeare to his beloved as a gift to her. Although the lover did not write the poem himself, the lover makes it his own as he recites it, and the beloved receives it as such. 

Since the relationship between God and man is one between lover and beloved, this example applies to our relationship with God as well. Formulaic prayers like the “Our Father” are great, and God always receives them as a gift.

However, Kreeft goes on to explain why doing only formulaic prayer is not quite sufficient for cultivating a deeper relationship with God:

“If others’ words are the only words lovers use to each other, they are not lovers but performers. We must not only ‘say our prayers’, we must pray. Others’ words may be more beautiful, but your words are more yours, and God cherishes them as a father cherishes his child’s own crude drawing made just for him more than he cherishes the greatest work of art in the world. God wants your own words most of all because they are your own; they come from your heart, and your heart is what your Lover craves. Your heart may be paltry compared with the heart of a great saint, but your heart is what God wants from you.”

Admittedly, this is much easier said than done, and it is something I am still figuring out how to do. But we cannot win the battle for purity of heart if we don’t actually give God our heart. He is the only one who can purify it. 

I would highly recommend purchasing “Prayer for Beginners” if you would like to learn more! 

Peace in Christ,

Chase Werfel

Chapter Coordinator, Fight Club Catholic